QUOTE OF THE WEEK
Another favorite quote of mine!
I’m going to estimate that these words fit about 90% of the human population. Humans just refuse to give up the reins and just LISTEN.
Don’t believe me? Well, just go ahead and start a conversation with someone. Pay close attention to the moment when the other person doesn’t let you finish your sentence before they interject… Boom! I rest my case. It happens more often than not.
Let’s face it. Humans love to hear themselves talk. Very few have mastered that elusive skill called “listening.” When you listen with the intent to reply, you’re not really hearing what the other person is saying. You’re missing out on whatever emotion they’re feeling. You miss out on important details because you’ve already hit fast forward in your mind, and formed a response in your head without allowing the other person to finish speaking. It’s selfish and rude. Learn to listen! Show the person or persons you’re conversing with the respect to have their say as well. Here are some clues that give away this type of behavior:
- If you interrupt before someone is finished telling you their story, you are not listening to understand.
- If you continue to talk when someone tries to say their part in the conversation, you are not listening to understand.
- If you talk OVER someone during a conversation thereby not allowing them to get their word in, you are not listening to understand.
- If you manage to turn the conversation around to something about yourself while someone is sharing THEIR story, you are not listening to understand.
I know it’s ridiculous that a person can’t shut up for even a few seconds to let another person speak. It’s downright annoying and rude. Soooo…. How do you deal with these types of people?
I’ve gotten into the habit of not even bothering to join the dialogue. I’ll just look at them wide-eyed; sit back, cross my arms and just mmhmm and uh-huhh through the entire conversation. I mean if all you wanna do is hear your voice, then by all means knock yourself out. You obviously don’t value my opinion or feedback so why am I going to bother and waste my energy? And what does it say about this person that they can’t even quiet their mind and respectfully let you finish what you’re saying? Not much except that their highly inconsiderate and selfish. I rarely share my personal stories with people like this because they just leave you empty and sometimes worse off than when you started…
How about you? How do you handle people like this? Are you one of these people who already have the reply beforehand? Why do you suppose you do this? Aye, I have so many questions about this topic but let’s start a two-sided conversation here. Get it? 😉
So y’all know the drill… Comment below and let’s discuss. This is an interesting subject and I’d love to get some feedback so don’t be shy and share your thoughts. Let’s chat. Go! #engage
Gracias,
AnnaCris ❤
So insightful…
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you JA-nice. 😉
LikeLike
Reblogged this on Don Massenzio's Blog and commented:
Here are some very wise words dealing with a communication issue that many of us have.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you so much Don for your comment and for reblogging! 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
You’re welcome. It was a great post.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I worked for some years with a colleague who all but drove me into the interrupt mindset. When I listened to him properly, he expected me to start my response as soon as he had finished. I needed time to digest what he had said and formulate a considered response.
Keith Channing at http://keithkreates.com
LikeLiked by 1 person
One always needs a few seconds in certain conversations to respond, especially in a work environment. If it’s expected that you interrupt or instantly say something after, how can you really listen. In your mind you’re racing to come up with something therfore, not listening. Did it get to the point where you were always ready for an instant response? Do you interrupt others now? Thank you for visiting and for your feedback.
LikeLike
We had an elderly aunt that never actually paused in talking…she would sort of dadaaddda in between thoughts so there was no opening for anyone else to speak. I have a close relative who rarely listens, and then only hears part of what is said…so when she repeats it to someone else her facts are incomplete. Drives me crazy.
LikeLiked by 1 person
LOL! OMG both would drive me bananas. I will never understand how a person can talk incessantly and not realize it. I have to hope they do it without realizing because otherwise…
LikeLike
I think they just are not interested in what anyone else has to say.
LikeLiked by 1 person
LOL, I have to agree.
LikeLike
that aunt was the single most rude person I ever knew….and she was also always baiting her audience….I used to call her “the nutbreads”, because she always talked about insignificant things.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hahahaa! “The nutbreads” … I’m going to borrow this one.
LikeLike
talk about nonsense instead of anything substantial… it used to make it hard to keep awake as this woman rattled on and on…her ideas and opinions were the only ones that counted.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oh man I know a couple of people that I deal with on the regualr that are like this. It’s their way or the highway. Grrrr!
LikeLike
she was not an ignorant person per se, just put any knowledge through her personal filters…dinners there were command performances…obnoxious, opinionated, racist, snobbish, etc…. bah humbug!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Bwahahahaha omg I feel for you. Good lord!
LikeLike
that aunt, she was my husband’s aunt, actually…lived to be 106 years old.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Holy bananas! That’s pretty freakin’ awesone.
LikeLike
survived on sheer chatter…never had any kids…plenty of money… there ya see how she lived so long.
LikeLiked by 1 person
LOL! That’s the secret…
LikeLike
yeah…my sister-in-law will be 96 next month…but she’s OK, nothing like her aunt at all.
LikeLiked by 1 person
at a party recently someone mentioned a parrot…so I had a good parrot story but no sooner started to tell it than someone jumped in right over what I was saying and went on and on with their own parrot story. I just gave up.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I think out of all the behaviors I referred to, people who talk over you are the rudest. It’s completely dismissive. I know a few people that constantly do this and like you, I just don’t bother.
Thank you so much for visiting my blog and for sharing your thoughts! 🙂
LikeLike
oh I agree…another thing is when I need to talk with someone and whatever I say they interrupt with worse or better tales of their own. I tend to be a good listener, and expect others to reciprocate.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I am the same way. Plus, good listeners tend to give good advice so they may want to listen. 😉
LikeLike
my BFF is like that…she will sit and listen to what I’m saying, then make sensible and helpful comments later. I do the same thing in return. That’s what friends are for…not judging or interjecting “selfies” when someone is trying to have a mutual conversation.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Exactly. If you talk to my closest friends, they will describe me jn just this way. They always come to me with anything because they know I will listen and give good feedback. Some of them do the same in return. Not all but the ones I’m closest to do return the favor. Great comment and so on point!
LikeLike
that’s a good way to be…I try also.:-)
LikeLiked by 1 person
You nail an important aspect of communication.
I tend to allow others to speak, then I’ll contribute. I find non-Western cultures are better listeners.
In the West people seem to be centred on getting their opinion across, and it is often seen as a sign of dominance, and people love to at least try and dominate even if by blabbering incessantly, they reveal their weaknesses.
I’m the same when it comes to conversation. If people yap over me continuously, I’m usually done talking to them. Listening without reciprocation is draining.
LikeLiked by 2 people
I agree 100% on it being a sign of dominance. Even people who overwhelm a room with their jabber are just trying to dominate not realizing that their revealing a major weakness. Non-Western cultures are more relaxed. In Dominican Republic where I’m from, people are so laid-back. They sit on their porches and have the longest convos about everything and it’s so enjoyable because it’s a back and forth banter. Here in NYC, it’s the complete opposite. Nobody stops to listen. Listening without reciprocation is indeed draining and boring.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yeah. When I returned to Scotland after many years in foreign lands it was quite a shock to feel like I had to speak quickly and loudly to be heard at all.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I think this is a communication issue that will never be entirely corrected. Everybody is mostly concerned with getting THEIR opinions across with no regard to those of others.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you so much for visiting my blog and for sharing your feedback. 🙂
LikeLike
I read this and saw you sitting back with your arms folded, waiting. 🙂
Great read, as usual! Keep up the great blogging!
LikeLiked by 1 person
LOLOL! You’re on to me Momma Dee!
Thank you darling and thank you for commenting. 🙂
LikeLike
As I was reading the responses here I was thinking that some of this has to do with culture as one of your readers mentioned. Here in the states in particular because we move at a frenzied pace, want everything yesterday and are basically very self-absorbed it’s no wonder we don’t pause to really listen. I am guilty of this however it’s been a recent occurrence since I’ve noticed as I’ve gotten older if I don’t get the thought out there it’s lost due to memory issues. I do qualify it by saying up front “I apologize for the interruption…” with a brief explanation as to why. However I mainly only do this with people who know me well. For those with whom I’ve just met or don’t know well I forgoe any fleeting thought that may intrude in my mind and refocus my attention on them.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I agree about it having to do with culture. Here in the states and in specific fast-paced cities like New York, it’s much more noticeable and happens so often. I feel like some people don’t even notice they do it. It’s an interesting topic and I’m glad I’ve gotten such great feedback. Thank you for stopping by and sharing your thoughts Stephanae! 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person