What Do You Bring To My Table?

Hola,

What’s the haps my lovelies? How is everyone doing? Have you all noticed the new look to my blog? Do you like it? I’m still working on it to customize it to my taste but I’m happy with it so far. It’s so “fashioney” #NewWord, and so me. 😉

Have you all had a chance to read my last post “Look At These Cool New Products?” If you haven’t, I think you should finish reading this one then go visit that post and let me know what you think. You may find something new that you’d like to try or maybe you’re already using some. Whatever the case, go have a look and give me some feedback. 😘

So the title of this post is a dead giveaway that I am veering off of the topic of fashion and beauty. I have my moments when I want to write about certain life issues or my own life experiences and this is one of them. I am about to go IN 💣, so adjust your cute butts in that chair you’re sitting on and let’s do this.

“What do you bring to my table?” I have a meme saved on my phone that I love that’s worded a lil bit differently. It goes like this:

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Bwahahaa… This gets me ALL the time. It’s so me. However, while this meme could probably be a future post about dating or the ever fabulous independent woman blah, blah, I’m going to use it in a different context because I’ve had it with people in general who think that they can treat you a certain way, usually completely shitty, just because they think they can and that this is acceptable. Well… It’s NOT! 👎

Here’s the thing… Which I thought of the other night and I meant to post it as a facebook status but alas… “I believe that the way you treat those who have NOTHING to do with what you’re going through speaks VOLUMES about your character and your personality.” You could act like or be the nicest person on earth but your attitude towards others when you have your undies in bunch says so much about you. Oh and let’s be clear, this is not about random strangers but about people you know and deal with frequently. They could be family, friends, co-workers, your boo. Basically, anyone you interact with daily.

What I’m getting at is this… I get that we all have things that bring us down. Things that maybe we don’t want to share with anyone but that are hurting us. I understand that we all have bad days. I get that any random action by another can ruin our day like maybe the jerk that cut you off on the road, you missed your train/bus and were super late to work or a meeting. If you live in New York City, lord knows we all have to deal with the HORRID morning commute with issue after issue on the trains making you even later to your destination. I understand being upset because you had a run in with an idiot which turned into an argument (people can be rude), maybe your boss yelled at you, maybe you’re having problems at home, maybe you’re having financial issues, you could be sick… I mean the list is endless. I’ve been there plenty of times but my mommy taught me at a young age never to take my shit out on innocent bystanders, and I try to live by that as much as I can. When I’m having a bad day, I always get super quiet. That’s how people know something is wrong with me. I hardly ever take my woes out on those who have nothing to do with them. However, It seems like this is a hard thing for people to be mindful of these days. Why is that? Someone enlighten me please.

I just don’t understand how people think that they have a right to treat others in such a way because they are angry, sad, hurt, etc. The killer is placing blame on someone who is not involved or is not the cause of your issue. If you didn’t handle your business and got called out on it, if you’re having personal problems, whatever the case may be, please do not take it out on the next available or the closest person to you just because you think you can. Unless the person is the direct reason for your distress, you are being extremely unfair. HOW is your situation another person’s fault? Did they directly or indirectly cause it?  If you cannot answer these questions with a yes and/or a specific reason then again, you are being unfair, spiteful and you are showing your underlying character/personality, and guess what… It’s not a nice picture. People like this are not allowed in my close circle. Why? Because these are the types that you never know what you’re going to get on any given day. They’re cool with you one day and turn into Mr. Hyde the next without cause. They drain you of positive energy. It’s too much work and I have NO patience for this BS!

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I’m a firm believer of the above quote. “You get what you give.” We all know karma all too well, however, I relate this quote to every day issues. Your actions bring about the same actions… I’m not saying that we should be mean or rude. Never step down to that level with anyone unless you’re being threatened.  Whenever possible, kill people with kindness. However, there are times when kindness is not the answer. There are times when you have to put your foot down and show people that their actions are going to bring about the same in return. If they can dish it, they better be able to take it because let’s face it, life is not a one-way street. One person cannot always be the taker and another always the giver. It’s got to be give and take. So anyone who thinks that they can be unkind to others should not be surprised if they get resistance from the person in question. You get what you give…

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So back to “What Do You Bring To My Table?” I have decided and so should you, that from now on people in my life, with the exception of my mommy because she’s my queen and she can do anything she wants 💖, do not get to treat me like crap just because they think they can (btw, my mommy is always nice to me :)😍). Ask yourself the question “what does this person bring to MY table?” If the answer is nothing of value that you’d miss not having, if their presence has no impact and has no relevance in your life, if you do not need them to survive, then what they bring to YOUR table is of no importance and their attitude should not affect you. Let their actions guide you. If they don’t talk to you, fine. If they’re mean, ignore. If they’re distant, be distant. Let them do them. You do YOU. I don’t know about you, but I’m an expert at ignoring people. Like the above quote says “my attitude depends on you.” I will kindly brush my shoulders off, adjust this fabulous crown 👑 on my head and keep it moving. Especially if I know that I did nothing to deserve someone’s attitude. I certainly REFUSE to kiss anybody’s ass and I’m not about to start. You should commit to doing the same. Save yourself the aggravation. Show them that two can play the game. Like I said, “if they can dish it, they better be able to take it” and some people can’t take it. Be prepared for them to be taken aback, to be shocked even or go as far as to play the victim or the innocent fool like they did nothing to deserve YOUR behavior. Regardless of this, pay them no mind. Continue your day as if you haven’t a care in the world. Trust that this will get to them more than any blow up or confrontation. It’s a good lesson and if they care or even pay attention, they will realize they’ve been unfair and may not do it again. If not, there’s always this:

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Don’t take it personally. Look at the source. If they’re worth it, maybe have a talk with them in a day or two. If it’s immediate family, your love interest or a long time-friendship, definitely try and work it out with them. Those relationships are special and deserve effort. However, if in your heart you feel the person in question is irrelevant to your life’s table, I repeat…. brush your shoulders off, adjust your crown 👑 and go about your day and try your best not to take these actions personally. ;)👋

So there you have it my loves. Just thought I’d share my point of view on this subject. I’m sure each of us has been in a situation like this at some point. Let me add that perhaps the person may not realize they’re doing this but that’s like a 1 out of 10 chance. Usually they pick a scapegoat and go with it so be aware how they treat you as opposed to others around them. That will be the giveaway. Then ask yourself “What does this person bring to MY table?” Whatever your answer is, act accordingly…

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Alrighty then, what are your thoughts on this topic? Do you agree with me or disagree? How have you handled situations like these? Do you confront or ignore? Maybe you’re guilty of these actions. Why do you choose to handle your misfortune by treating others this way? Do you realize you’re doing this? OMG, I could ask so many more questions. In any case, you all know the drill my sweets. Share your thoughts. This could be a good discussion if you’re willing to share your stories. So go ahead and share. Let’s discuss and try to make our daily lives better.

Remember… Don’t blame innocents for your troubles. Take ownership of those troubles instead and handle them. If you’re going through something, lay low for a bit. Stop taking your problems out on people who haven’t caused them. And try your best to treat everybody with kindness because you never know what someone is going through! Plus, I’m sure you’d like to be treated as such so give what you’d like to receive. Okay, it’s time for opinions. Let’s chat. Go! #engage

Until next time…

Gracias,

AnnaCris 💛

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11 thoughts on “What Do You Bring To My Table?

  1. Hey AnnaCris,
    Thanks so much for sharing your insight on this topic that many of us encountered especially in the workplace where you have to be careful how you address these issues. Unfortunately, there are many people who are dealing with painful issues and have no idea how to handle them so they take it out on others. Many times I choose to ignore this behavior as I feel sorry for this person as they do not know how to manager their problems. However, I have to admit that I will never understand why a person will choose to take out their personal problems on those of us who have nothing do with it at all. I recall one young lady who worked with who would come to work everyday with a nasty and ghetto attitude because she was angry about her personal lives. I believe everyone should keep their personal lives just that – personal. However, if you are kind person and need to discuss your personal problems than I am all ears.

    How do you suggest you handle a co-worker who takes out his/her problem on you at work?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Scott. Thank you so much for reading and for sharing your thoughts. I agree with you, there is no reason for taking out problems on people who have nothing to do with them. It’s completely unfair. As far as dealing with a co-worker, it’s a little bit trickier as we all want to be politically correct and also keep our jobs. If you get along well with the person and if it’s something that really bothered you, maybe pull them aside and talk to them in a non-confrontational manner. If it’s someone whose is just ghetto nasty like your example, sometimes the best way to deal with these people is by ignoring them. Act like they don’t exist because 9 times out 10, they won’t even try to listen to what you have to say. What do they bring to your “work” table? If it’s nothing that directly affects your job, brush your shoulders off and go about your day. Look at the source. Do they matter to you? If not, don’t let them ruin your day with their nonsense. Something that works for me is writing it out. Let everything out on paper and then throw it out. This technique is very helpful for your own sanity when you just can’t let something go. Try it and let me know if it helps.

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  2. Awesome read! It’s crazy how often this happens but we all seem to ignore it like it doesn’t bother us because society has it’s own way of normalizing situations like this by saying “Oh, someone is just “PMS”ing”, but truth is, it does matter. We just don’t voice it and tend to push it under the rug. Many probably think why bother creating a fuss with someone who feels they have the right to lash out when they’re in a bad mood. They’re not crazy..it is a waste of energy to act when majority of the times there’s no winning with those who act irrationally. Glad you pointed out a very good way to handle this though…change your attitude vs. letting it bother you inside..simply don’t let it get to you cuz like you said, often times these people bring nothing to your table!! What happens when this person does matter to you though? What would you do?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you “Arya.” I love your response and yes, you are so right about “there’s no winning with those who act irrationally.” These are the types that never listen to what you’re saying. They talk over you and just don’t get it so it IS a waste of time and energy to even try to get your message across. These types will use any excuse to justify their attitude and treatment towards others which is also unfair because like you said, we tend to then brush it off and chuck it to whatever the reason.

      If it’s someone that does matter, I would wait a day or two and then try to talk to them. If this person brings something special to your table, always try to make things work. There are so few real, genuine and sincere relationships these days that we must take care of the few that matter. So talk it out and make them listen. Don’t leave the issue up in the air because that just builds resentment and will ruin the relationship (family, friendship, lover). Always try to work it out with them.

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  3. I loved reading your thoughts on this topic. My sister and I are always going back and forth. Why? Because she feels that I’m toooo nice And don’t “explode” when I need to. My thing is, what am I gaining by lashing out or always encountering confrontation with people? I think my poor reaction gives them power over me. I’m definitely one who doesn’t like to burn bridges either due to a poor reaction. So I try to always remember what my mom says: ” if you have nothing nice to say, say nothing at all”.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much Kary for reading and commenting. Lol I know your sister is explosive and that’s not a bad thing. I do feel that sometimes you get your point across better by ignoring certain people who think they have a right to be shitty. I fall in the middle between nice and explosive. I’m never too nice. You can’t be in today’s world. I will say this… Burn some bridges Kary. Some people don’t deserve to be in your life. Don’t allow them that power to treat you badly. However, you don’t even have to confront or burn bridges if that’s not in you. Again sometimes ignoring people hurts them more than any confrontation will. You just have to pick whose worth keeping and mending fences with and who isn’t.

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  4. Hi love..
    Sorry it has taken me so long… As you know, I’ve been sick and then threw my back out… OUCH!!! That was a real setback for me… All is good now.. 🙂

    Anyway, as usual, I loved reading your blog and it was spot on as to how I feel… I don’t care if you’re family, a friend or whatever.. If you treat me badly, too many times, then you’re out of my life.. I will go out of my way for people I care about.. But if you show me disrespect and take advantage of my kindness, then I will just cut you off and walk away… I am not one to brush it under the rug and act like nothing is wrong.. So many people are like that.. They do crappy things to you, then act like they did nothing wrong..
    I have learned the hard way, that you just have to say “NO” to avoid these issues.. You know which people are worth it and those who are not..

    I do not do drama, nor do I want it in my life… I have no patience for that..

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yay I’m so happy you’re feeling better babes! I knew you’d agree as we’ve had countless conversations about this. I don’t care either. If you’re not bringing anything worthy to my life, keep moving because I have no time for BS. The killer is when they act like they did nothing wrong and then turn it on you like you started the drama… GTFOH with that nonsense!

      As always, thank you for reading and commenting. This one, I knew, hit both of us close to home. I’m sick of people who do this stuff. Whoever they are family, friends, co-workers… Just don’t! XoXo ❤ x a billion! 🙂

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